Only bricks and mortar

As my first visitor arrives – from the other side of the world, I think I have a big problem.  Tiny cottage, jammed with stuff.  Excessive amounts of books piled up everywhere. Boxes still everywhere.  And just like in Harry Potter, perhaps there’s a little space under the stairs… for a bed.  Well it sounds drastic but it works.  The test of any friendship is living in close proximity with someone, it makes you appreciate the need for flexibility and how some things just don’t matter.  Kiwis make great travellers, great visitors and are so easy going.  Even coming from summer in Auckland to a freezing, seaside town in Ireland was not a bother to Maree. She even ventured out most mornings for a run down Dun Laoghaire Pier.  Now that’s impressive in my book and hope on another European trip, Dublin hit the right notes and she’ll be back.

What I quickly realised was that though my cottage is small, it’s home. After years of being unsettled, it’s where I feel at peace and where my friends feel welcome.  I may have thought nothing could compete for a place in my heart like my old house on the hill.  I was wrong. I can walk past it and smile easily  for the memories I shall always have. As for the house, just bricks and mortar. Only bricks and mortar after all.

 

Just let it go..

With just three days to go, I moved in. There really is no place like home. Tired. Exhausted. Happy.  Renovations complete. Beautiful job. Fantastic team. Great Builders.  As for people who caused me two years of grief during the whole building process….. It’s time to let it go…

What I’ve learnt is there are some people you cannot talk to, no matter how hard you try. No matter how hard you do the right thing.  If they’re not listening, you’re wasting your time.  Being a Coach and Trainer, there are very few people I come across whose ‘language’ I can’t speak.  Without a doubt there are some peoplewho are easier than others and with whom conversation flows more naturally. There are few though, who are truly unpleasant, difficult and who have serious issues with … everyone and anyone they encounter.  It’s only human to try and get on with others. But sometimes, you’ve just got to let it go.

The truth is how someone behaves says far more about them. So, as Christmas came and went, so did my anger and fruastration.  There are too many other things I can do something about, than waste any more time on things that are past.  Here’s to what comes next

doing nothing

what does it take to think?

I have one speed and generally keep going until I run out of puff.  Every now and then, I stop.  I have to stop. And when I do, my first reaction is that I have wasted time.  An hour, a morning or perhaps occasionally for a whole day…  My initial reaction is annoyance for I feel I have wasted time, which once gone, can never be re-run.  Yet lately, what I’m noticing is that learning to do nothing, giving myself time to think does me good.  It gives my body and mind time to re-charge and at a sub-conscious level, I’m processing a wide range of things. The following day, I  have real clarity about key issues I need to address.

bubble2
Sometimes, doing 'nothing'makes absolute sense!

 

 

 

Cleaning for the Cleaner?

Obsessive? Never …

Long gone are the days of having the luxury of having a cleaner and that’s a good thing.  It’s good in that there’s pleasure to be taken in a simple job well done and giving it due time and attention. What I’ve come to re-appreciate is that I like an orderly home. I like to work with a clear space around me.  When I do, I can channel my energy into good work.  So why, when working away from home for a week, did I take so much stuff with me that I crowded my space and as a result, no concrete work at the laptop was done!  Instead, I took off to the great outdoors. What it did was to remind me of what’s important.  In getting outside to clear my head, I found myself surrounded by the staggering beauty of Valentia Island, off season.  Where the landscape is overwhelmingly beautiful.  Where I realised the value of simple being…  One of those lightbulb moments.  With the recognition of being happy in my own company – cats being the exception at the time – I was able to piece together a new workshop I’d been conceptualising.  Result, albeit inadvertently achieved.

As for the connection with cleaning for the cleaner, well, apart from the obsessive nature of having done that often in a previous life, house-sitting calls for a different skill-set.  Apart from the care you lavish on someone else’s home and their pets. you are there to care, simply care, for their home.   And most importantly, it is remembering to make sure everything is back in its place and there is no sign that you were ever there! The power of focus, not allowing an obsessive nature to take over and just letting things be.  Whether it is letting a cleaner do what they are meant to do or leaving someone’s home the way they left it.

‘Sure… ‘ as we say in Ireland, ‘I knew that anyway.’…

Love your day !!

 

3 ways to save time every day

Three useful ways to improve your daily life !!!

Professional Self Smarter Tip

Only check your emails ….. first thing in the morning, at lunch-time and at the end of the day. Why only 3 times a day? If you’re distracted seeing what’s coming in, you lose sight of what’s really important

Unsubscribe from anything you don’t need now.  Be very selective.  It takes time to delete and scroll through stuff you’ll never go back to

Give yourself a break …  ignore or better still, don’t check emails after you finish working for the day. Knowing what’s come in and what you have facing you in the morning does not help you sleep any better ! Being always available is not good for you, not good for your clients, definitely not good for your personal life – and talking of your personal life, these little changes mean you can make more time for those who matter. When you’re with someone…… one to one…. really listen

1-2-1when you really listen… you’ll be amazed at the difference it will make….

Love your day, when it’s gone, it’s gone!

janie

Why is business eluding you?

Why aren’t you getting more business?

This is probably one of the most difficult questions to answer… honestly.  We all make excuses and hindsight can be a great way to justify why something didn’t happen the way we wanted it to.  Hindsight too can be valuable.  Better still is to have ‘Invaluable Insights’ and by that I mean really looking at how things could have gone better and practical ways to re-visit something.  Particularly with a client who has chosen someone else to do business with. Maybe you just weren’t speaking their language.  Maybe it wasn’t about the price.  Maybe they just didn’t trust you enough to risk their reputation with you. Is your client relationship strong enough to ask WHY?

janie-saysTrust can underpin or undermine every relationship

Want to work on getting better business?  Click for details of my next 221:121 Workshop “Building Trust, Sustainable Sales and Customer Loyalty”. 

 

would you push for promotion?

A recent study showed 4 out of 8 men would NOT push themselves forward for a job promotion for which they were more or less able to do, compared with 6 out of 8 women.  Combine this with the way in which women consistently under-estimate their skills and small wonder that there are so few women in leadership roles.  Time are changing, however, it is still food for thought…….

one way to feel loved

When I heard the story of a little boy trying to talk to his mother the other day, I had to laugh at the simplicity of what he was trying to say.  Over and over again, this little boy kept saying ‘You’re not listening’, ‘You’re not listen’. Finally, in the most exasperated state, this small lad stood up and pronounced ‘But you’re not listening to me.  You’re not listening to me with your eyes’. Sometimes it all it takes is a few moments of really listening, being fully engaged to make a child feel loved ALL DAY LONG!

out of the mouths of babes…..

221-121aListening is one of the greatest compliments we can pay to another.  Two eyes, two ears, one mouth.  That’s the proportion that helps our 1:2:1 relationships flourish……

 

Time to re-assess?

Every now and then, I take a good hard look at what I’ve been doing, how productive I’ve been and most important of all, how satisfied I am with what I have spent my time on.

Too many things have happened in recent years in my little life and the clock’s ticking.  There’s only now and time spent is time gone.   So, if you feel like this goldfish (what a great image I saw on a card recently), then you owe it to yourself, to take time out and get re-focused. Get a grip on your life, do what you have to do to make each day matter more.  The clock’s ticking and good things beckon…

all a question of perspective

challenging myself…every day

On top of the usual daily challenges, there’s one in particular that I dread and simulteously relish.  A quick dip in the Irish Sea.  Yes, absolute madness and really no big ordeal really.  At the very moment my body hits the water, I can think of nothing else.  Any worries or concerns I have are gone.  In this beautiful moment, I experience the joy of utter clarity for I can think of nothing else. I know I am truly alive and thankful for being so.  My kiwi friends on the beautiful island of Waiheke think I’m crackers and swear I can only do it thanks to my ‘Irish wet-suit’ and they are right.  A few years ago I used to think exactly the same.  With changing circumstances, I knew there were going to be many things I would have to push myself to do and thought if I could get into the Irish Sea even in wintertime, then anything is possible.  And so it is and most days I’ll zip down to the Forty Foot in Sandycove for a quick dip.  Mind over matter, yes it is!

If you’ve challenges to meet, sometimes you’ve just got to tackle them head on and push through those seemingly impossible barriers.  The real question is do you really want something enough to make that commitment to change?

A Quick Dip in the Irish Sea by Heather McKay

A Quick Dip in the Irish Sea by Heather McKay

Click for details of the 2013/14  “Communicate with Greater Confidence” Workshops and to talk to Janie.