Tag Archives: clarity


the most succinct sentence?

Like most people, I’m often asked to help out.  Requests for all sorts of things from speaking at an event to fostering a kitten.  Now we’re all short on time and it is human nature to want to help, the problem is lots of people don’t like to say NO and end up wasting other people’s time and disappointing them in the process.  I  know my inability to say no is a fundamental character weakness. Why? well that’s the story of a much longer blog post!  In the meantime, I’ll share a useful strategy which helps me deal with this gut reaction of saying YES! Rather than an immediate ‘yes’, I draw on variations of these three.

  1.  Let me check my diary
  2. I’d love to but it doesn’t work for me
  3. This time I can’t but please, do ask me again
freedom to choose

Source: Unknown

Why does this work for me?

Response no. 1: Gives me time to make check so when I do come back with a YES, I can be absolutely sure I do whatever it is really well, rather than just fitting this request in, so it’s a WIN/WIN

Response no. 2:  I don’t need to justify myself. No-one is really interested in why you can’t do something. This brevity of response saves time wasting – on both sides.

Response no. 3:   This reinforces that though I can’t oblige this time, I’ll have an opportunity to help again.  And people do come back when another need arises!

making more time for a coffee?

Click to discuss Personal and Corporate Assertiveness Training over coffee!


doing nothing

what does it take to think?

I have one speed and generally keep going until I run out of puff.  Every now and then, I stop.  I have to stop. And when I do, my first reaction is that I have wasted time.  An hour, a morning or perhaps occasionally for a whole day…  My initial reaction is annoyance for I feel I have wasted time, which once gone, can never be re-run.  Yet lately, what I’m noticing is that learning to do nothing, giving myself time to think does me good.  It gives my body and mind time to re-charge and at a sub-conscious level, I’m processing a wide range of things. The following day, I  have real clarity about key issues I need to address.

Sometimes, doing 'nothing'makes absolute sense!