Tag Archives: attitude

Congruency matters

ON AND OFF-LINE …

What can we really know about a person from on-line profiles?  How true are they to the person behind that all singing, all dancing, slick on-line image?  How much do our profiles really tell us, potential clients, potential employees, potential friends? Our Workplace can be a really emotional place, sometimes when we’ve things on our minds and our reaction to a situation, a comment can be out of proportion. Someone’s ‘pushed’ our buttons and triggered a response that under normal circumstances wouldn’t bother us but hey, too late. We’ve pushed the send button or the words have leapt out of our mouths before we’ve had time to blink.  Too late. In person it is easier to make amends.  On-line, it’s gone.

Congruency matters.  On-line or off-line, it is you, what you do and how you do it that makes all the difference.

Whether you are standing up in front of an audience or emailing someone.  Or talking on the telephone, maybe blogging. You are putting yourself ‘out there’. It is taking a leap of faith especially on-line where once it’s gone and you’ve pushed that send/publish/share button,  what you’ve created is an extension of you, The question is, is it really you?

A company whose values align with your own, who you are proud to be part of benefits from having employees who know who they are and what they stand for.  People who are proud to be working for them, as after all, employees are ‘brand ambassadors’ and make no mistake, people who work for themselves are walking advertisements for themselves too.  An an Employee or Business Owner, you need to be able to express yourself, voice your opinion in a way which shows respect and appreciate another’s point of view.   When someone has the courage to say ‘I’m not sure about this, can you help me’ or perhaps ‘Do you think there’s a better way of explaining the problem’ or quite simply ‘Can I ask you what you think’, it’s a real indicator that there is space for growth, for improved performance, a willingness to expand one’s horizons.

Sometimes I find myself technically challenged.  Spending time working out how to use a new phone, a new app, embrace a new way of getting my message out there I find hard.  I am sure I am not the only one. Once a ‘twit-nit’ does not mean forever and now I’ve asked for help, though a slow learner know it will get easier!

Being able to be yourself matters.

To express yourself matters.

You matter.

Congruency matters – on and off-line…

Join us for breakfast and be part of the conversation

Emotions Shape Us –

Human Emotions shape us. They shape us professionally and personally. They also have a stronger influence on our overall performance and satisfaction with life than we care to realize.

In talking with participants of a Much More Than Words workshop we ran back in the Autumn, I was reminded of how strongly I too felt when working overseas about ‘not being who I thought I was’. What I mean by that is that in another country and not being as able to express myself as well as I might in my own language, I somehow felt ‘less’ and undoubtdly lost out, as did the company in different ways.  psst

It was if I had lost part of my identity because I had mentally defined myself by what I did, rather than who I was. I felt as if someone was going to tap me on the shoulder and whisper ‘Psst… what are you doing here’ and that I was an imposter somehow because by the time I opened my mouth to say something, to contribute in team meetings, all too often the conversations moved on before I had a chance.The problem was not that I lacked the ability to speak in French,  but I lacked the confidence to just say what I meant and not worry about speaking perfectly.  I believe it was this lack of confidence in my early working life that led to emotions getting the better of me and working in the world of advertising, I needed to brave up fast, which I did but paid the price, a story or two for another day.

Lack of Confidence can mean missing out 

But I learnt plenty from those early years.  That our experiences and emotions do indeed shape us and as my career progressed, I had a responsibility to those who worked in my teams to make sure how I handled situations didn’t have a detrimental impact like some of my earlier experiences had on me. Whether you are working and speaking in your own language or another, self confidence is key to performance.

January 2017 Event Logo

The first Dublin breakfast event for 2017 – Contact Janie on 087 8572005 or click on image to book your place.

Had I been a stronger, more resilient person and not so self conscious perhaps my ‘strangeness’, my identity as the girl from London could have been used to my advantage, as ‘a wild card’ and I would have played it stronger. But my emotions won and got the better of me.

In the workplace, how we see ourselves and others see us impact hugely on our ability to perform.  How we are treated by our peers and those who lead the organisations we find ourselves in impact in ways previously considered less important perhaps than they are today.

The Organisation as an ‘Emotional Arena’

Dr. Annette Clancy from the Quinn School of Business in UCD  will be sharing invaluable insights on the 18th January, at the first of our Breakfast Events for 2017 to be held at the Bank of Ireland Enterprise Centre, Montrose, Dublin.  If you’re involved in HR or a leadership role and can make it, I feel sure this will be time well spent. If you’d like to know more, you can call me directly on 086 8572005.

simply click here to book your place. 

Places limited. Booking advisable.

 

One night, two Poles

Conversations can start up just about anywhere and no better place than at airports.  Recently before flying back from London, as I was having coffee I found myself chatting with a lovely Polish firefighter from Kent on his way home for the New Year. He’d lived in the UK for some 12 years plus and after the topical chit-chat around what Brexit would mean for him, I asked him about his work. The conversation moved on to whilst most of the work was straightforward dealing with relatively minor events, the more dangerous and tragic the incidents he and his crew dealt with, the greater the emotional impact.  I sensed that as with most types of trauma, there is a sense of loss, futility and disappointment which builds up and felt immensely sad that these feelings lingered long afterwards and wondered how these brave firefighters dealt with their emotions. Inevitably and true to stereotype, most men he said, would bottle up their feelings and inevitably something quite trivial would act as a catalyst and ‘boom’ the built up feelings would explode, out of context and often out of control.  Never dealt with.  I felt fortunate to talk with this man, to have had the opportunity of going behind the capable, brave masks people like him have to wear day after day in providing such an invaluable public service. Before we parted company, we went on to talk about the excitement of being with family and friends to celebrate the coming New Year and all that is joyous in life too. A few coffees later as I left for my flight, my resolve to raise awareness of the need to deal with emotions in the workplace was ever stronger. Most certainly, we need to keep pushing this issue to the fore-front, rather than ‘under the carpet’ as it is indeed a bigger conversation, one Much More Than Words will be highlighting in a couple of weeks time and we’d like you to be part of.

Click for details of our January 18th Dublin event, featuring Dr. Annette Clancy as she shares invaluable insights talking on  The organisation as ‘an emotional arena’

The second conversation was a brief one with the Ryanair flight attendant, who provided endless entertainment to weary and extremely unresponsive passengers.  He looked Irish, had a real ‘country’ accent, was both funny and fluent.  Yet something in his accent told me otherwise.  Another Pole !  A Polish man with a big heart, resilient and sense of humour. Welcome and Safe Journey home.  How are you, I asked. With the biggest warmest smile ‘Living the Dream, living the dream’. He made me laugh as we talked, another side of the human roller-coaster of emotions.  Ryanair often get slagged for all sorts of things, but I have to say, not only has their service been consistent, their customer service on a face to face level has become more human, despite it being all too easy to find yourself paying unnecessary surcharges.

So to the two Polish gentlemen, from deep in my heart, I thank you both for making my night.

On the Soapbox

If Speaking in Public causes you stress…

You’re not alone. More than half the population seem to be terrified at the very thought of being asked to present or speak in public. In fact, many have said they would rather ‘die’ !! Yes, figure that one out for common sense…. You may be surprised to know many of the world’s greatest speeches have been made by introverts, people who choose to Janie Lazar - Coderdojothon 2016manage their stress and present with excitement rather than fear. The good news is you can learn to do the same and begin to enjoy speaking and presenting, both with ease and confidence. Boosting your communication skills and public speaking really can be something to look forward to as you develop your skills to present effectively and connect with real confidence.  

In fact, for Non Native English Speaking Professionals,  spend 5th November 2016 with us for an intensive workshop and you’ll be well on the way to mastering those nerves. You’ll learn essential skills you can use in any language.

Click to contact me directly for One to One Coaching 1-2-1 

     

the Chinese word ‘wei-chi’ has two meanings: ‘danger’ and ‘opportunity’.  It all depends on how you see it.  So when you change your perspective and see speaking in public as an opportunity, we can work to turn that fear into excitement.

mailto:janie@janielazar.com

Stand up and Speak Out !

‘Preparing to Present’

 

Mini-Workshop: For Professionals whose First Language is Not English.

This practical workshop will build on your Language and Communication skills to improve your ability to present.

Designed for employees, business owners and job seekers to provide a practical and supportive environment to help you hone your Communication and Presentation Skills.

 Date: Saturday 5th November 2016

Time: 10.15-15.30
Venue: Enterprise Lounge,Bank of Ireland, Grafton Street, D2
Cost: €65 per participant
For maximum results numbers are strictly limited.

Today I met a Firefighter

At full tide down at the 40′, you never know who you’ll get into conversation with.  I’m there, we’re chatting about the pull of the tide and the next thing, whilst we’re maintaining strict eye level contact as we discreetly peel off our wet togs and get dressed, I’m chatting to one of the nicest guys I’ve met for a long time.  Stephen O’Reilly.  Firefighter.  Instantly I like him.  Firefighters have to be good people and you know instantly when you meet someone if this is someone you want to chat with, or politely disengage!   The 40′ attracts a very correct crowd of people, in case you are wondering.

A Quick Dip in the Irish Sea by Heather McKay

A Quick Dip in the Irish Sea by Heather McKay

Now don’t misunderstand me, this post is not about attraction in that sense of the word, it’s about social dynamics.  Stephen is so enthusiastic about what he does in addition to his job as a firefighter, I find the more he talks, the more I want to hear. Anyhow, the conversation flows easily and he asks what I do, WORDS,  I say, well it’s much more than words – it’s about how we use them. It’s about who you are. Now we’re flying and I get to find out so much more about what drives Stephen and now I understand why he drives across the city to dive into the sea and make the most of one of our most wonderful natural resources.   Check out grown.ie. It’s a cool company, who stand by their ethics. I love the clarity of their brand ‘messaging’ and yes, Stephen is a great brand ambassador. The point of all this?  Life is one big conversation and I just love it.

 

 

Where are you from?

FIJI

Inspired by Women in Business in Fiji – where the idea for ‘Much More Than Words’ came to me !

An interesting question.  I always say ‘Dublin’ of course.  I’ve lived here for over 20 years now, first visiting some 30+ years ago.  I am immensely proud to say I am an Irish citizen and I come from Dublin.  And yet, I am a London girl at heart.  London is truly my city too as it is where I spent almost half of my life before settling in Ireland .  But hold on, I was born in Wales – but left there when I was one… and I have strong family ties in New Zealand and have been lucky enough to travel extensively and have felt welcome and a strong feeling of belonging in the most unexpected places. So I ask the question again, where are you from? Do tell, I’d love to know….

The start is just the beginning it seems.

Basic Human Needs

Warmth, Daylight, Love

Some years back I’ house and cat sat’ for friends.  As my cottage was due to be renovated at the time and let us say, conditions were fairly primitive, I leapt at the opportunity.  Having to light a stove to heat one room in my cottage simply to keep warm and have hot water is not something I wish on anyone for a prolonged period of time.

water and warmth !

water and warmth !

However, I digress.  One morning during this house sitting gig, I awoke to a winter wonderland and stood in front of the window, basking in the natural daylight which flooded the room and and warmed me to the core.  After an incredibly restorative night’s sleep, when for once I didn’t wake up with either water coming through the roof, or because of the freezing cold wind howling through my cottage, I made my way to the kitchen, luxuriating as I felt the warmth of the house underfoot,  no need to huddle and shiver here as I made my first coffee of the day.  The cats, rubbing gently around my legs, talking as if they too, were welcoming the new day. They’re great company, these cats, they never bother you for food, they’re good natured and love company.  They just like to know you’re there and they remind me that I am not alone.

What’s my point? Gratitude, for this short burst of comfort. Gratitude, for the trust that is bestowed on me.  Gratitude, for I know that even though my cottage is primitive now, it will, before too much longer, be a haven for me.  Gratitude, for the experience of hardship and all this long process of waiting for my home to take shape has taught me.   Gratitude too, for all the good that the hardship seems to have brought me. Gratitude, for the friendships housesitting has given me. Gratitude, for the opportunities for learning experiencing hardships I won’t go into here have taught me.  Gratitude, for the experience of humiliation of business failure and relaunching myself to do what I now do, something I believe I was always meant to do. Gratitude, for life itself.

Mindfulness – A passing Fad?

I recently wrote on Mindfuilness for the Irish Motor Neurone Disease Association and drew on my experience of living with Annette Evans and her husband Roland who has MND.  Against all odds I feel they embody all that is indeed Mindfulness. Click to read full article   Mindfulness… A Passing Fad

[quote align=”left” color=”#999999″]Mindfulness … ” A form of secular prayer” Roland Evans October 2014[/quote]

Check out Roland’s book,The Marshlander Chronicles –  ALL proceeds will go to the IMNDA, 

 

 

RUDE!

I’ve come to the conclusion that the only way to deal with rudeness is simply to utter the word rude.  My pal in London Maggie came up with this simple solution.  Sometimes there is absolutely no merit in dealing with an ignorant person.  Their rudeness and inability to be civil is their problem, not yours. Not mine. [quote align=”left” color=”#999999″]Rudeness is a reflection of someone else’s problems[/quote]

In saying RUDE either silently or under my breath quickly enables me to move on quickly and forget the unpleasantness, rather than fuming and continuing to fume, for hours, days, weeks.  Thank you Maggie for simplifying what can be over-laboured.  RUDE. That’s it.  done and dusted.