I love, truly love meeting new people. Not so much in large groups. I’m not always comfortable networking for example. I’m more of a face to face person. One to one to get to know someone more. Preferably somewhere where I can actually hear what they’re saying. Now more than ever, when we’re spending more time looking at a screen of some sort, what I’m seeing is more ‘disconnection’ and as a result a great loss at so many social levels. So much can be misconstrued by inappropriate abbreviation in texting and emails. Paper trails may be essential for many things but even over the phone, so much more of a connection can be made when you can ‘hear’ the feeling behind what is being said. And in person, that’s where relationships are at their best. Social media has its place. It is of immense value when selectively used. When, that is and not stealing my most valuable asset of all..
Every now and then, I take a good hard look at what I’ve been doing, how productive I’ve been and most important of all, how satisfied I am with what I have spent my time on.
Too many things have happened in recent years in my little life and the clock’s ticking. There’s only now and time spent is time gone. So, if you feel like this goldfish (what a great image I saw on a card recently), then you owe it to yourself, to take time out and get re-focused. Get a grip on your life, do what you have to do to make each day matter more. The clock’s ticking and good things beckon…
At a service of thanksgiving for organ donors and recipients, I was reminded of how much I have. A young mother whose son took his life stood before a large congregation, a family who seemed to have everything. A family whose lives were unexpectedly changed forever. At a time when she was grieving the most, she gave the most precious gift of all, that of life to at least 8 people. Leaving the Cathedral, you could see it was hard for people to know quite what to say as they passed ‘Donor Families’, identifiable by the camelia called ‘Donation’, each carried, given as a small token of recognition. An exchange of gentle smiles, no words needed. My strong sister is alive today because of such self-less generosity and for that I am forever grateful and value every moment that I can share with her, hard when we live on opposite sides of the world. Technology is a poor substitute for human connection but it does help to bridge that gap.
It’s human nature to give out. Take the top three complaints people have: lack of time, lack of money, poor work/ life balance. All of which we have the power to change, if we really wish. And where circumstances do not permit significant change as quickly as we might like, we can still affect the outcome of each and every situation through the way in which we communicate. Through listening instead of simply hearing. Through helping others by freely sharing our knowledge. Being supportive through our own words and as importantly, being compassionate and non-judgemental, for what we see is not always the whole picture. The mother whose child cried throughout the service probably had no-one to take the baby for her. As an organ recipient, she needed to be there to give thanks too.
Yadidagh, didagh, dagh…..
How many times have you sat listening to an expert yet….. been bored rigid? Even been on the brink of nodding off? You know the speaker knows their stuff but boy, you’d wonder if they’ve ever seen themselves on video or played back a recording of their talk. Yet, we know that Confident Communicators Inspire! They motivate. They fire us up and feed our insatiable appetite for learning even more. The best leave us wanting more… every time! Wanting more Knowledge. More of their books. More of them. Which makes you realise, in the sales process, people buy because of you. You are that special ingredient, which is why developing your own conversational style that allows your personality to come through is so important.
PRACTICE MAKES BETTER……..If people give their time, their attention, even their money, then there is a responsibility and respect that needs to be given……WINGING IT IS NOT GOOD ENOUGH ! We owe it to ourselves and to anyone who is generous enough to listen, to do the best we can. The question is do you?
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Fear can paralyse and yet simultaneously excite us. Just why do we fear so many different things that in the majority of instances NEVER come to pass. Susan Jeffers said “Feel the Fear and do it anyway”, the poet Rainer Maria Rilke said “Follow your Fear”. Still we hesitate and rather than risk failure or the experience of learning that the opportunity of failure provides, we hold back. Is it fear of having too much and perhaps at some level not feeling worthy of success?
The following was written by MARIANNE WILLIAMSON (though often attributed to Nelson Mandela). “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?”. Actually, who are you not to be?”. Marianne continues “… playing small does not serve the world. There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you”. Then says “.. as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same”.
Self doubt and procrastination stop us achieving our potential. In taking control, we become more powerful and as we do, we can inspire others in using the positive power of fear to its best advantage. To enhance your communication skills, contact by clicking here