Tag Archives: choice

Emotions Shape Us –

Human Emotions shape us. They shape us professionally and personally. They also have a stronger influence on our overall performance and satisfaction with life than we care to realize.

In talking with participants of a Much More Than Words workshop we ran back in the Autumn, I was reminded of how strongly I too felt when working overseas about ‘not being who I thought I was’. What I mean by that is that in another country and not being as able to express myself as well as I might in my own language, I somehow felt ‘less’ and undoubtdly lost out, as did the company in different ways.  psst

It was if I had lost part of my identity because I had mentally defined myself by what I did, rather than who I was. I felt as if someone was going to tap me on the shoulder and whisper ‘Psst… what are you doing here’ and that I was an imposter somehow because by the time I opened my mouth to say something, to contribute in team meetings, all too often the conversations moved on before I had a chance.The problem was not that I lacked the ability to speak in French,  but I lacked the confidence to just say what I meant and not worry about speaking perfectly.  I believe it was this lack of confidence in my early working life that led to emotions getting the better of me and working in the world of advertising, I needed to brave up fast, which I did but paid the price, a story or two for another day.

Lack of Confidence can mean missing out 

But I learnt plenty from those early years.  That our experiences and emotions do indeed shape us and as my career progressed, I had a responsibility to those who worked in my teams to make sure how I handled situations didn’t have a detrimental impact like some of my earlier experiences had on me. Whether you are working and speaking in your own language or another, self confidence is key to performance.

January 2017 Event Logo

The first Dublin breakfast event for 2017 – Contact Janie on 087 8572005 or click on image to book your place.

Had I been a stronger, more resilient person and not so self conscious perhaps my ‘strangeness’, my identity as the girl from London could have been used to my advantage, as ‘a wild card’ and I would have played it stronger. But my emotions won and got the better of me.

In the workplace, how we see ourselves and others see us impact hugely on our ability to perform.  How we are treated by our peers and those who lead the organisations we find ourselves in impact in ways previously considered less important perhaps than they are today.

The Organisation as an ‘Emotional Arena’

Dr. Annette Clancy from the Quinn School of Business in UCD  will be sharing invaluable insights on the 18th January, at the first of our Breakfast Events for 2017 to be held at the Bank of Ireland Enterprise Centre, Montrose, Dublin.  If you’re involved in HR or a leadership role and can make it, I feel sure this will be time well spent. If you’d like to know more, you can call me directly on 086 8572005.

simply click here to book your place. 

Places limited. Booking advisable.


Time Robbers

I love, truly love meeting new people.  Not so much in large groups.  I’m not always comfortable networking for example.  I’m more of a face to face person.  One to one to get to know someone more.  Preferably somewhere where I can actually hear what they’re saying.  Now more than ever, when we’re spending more time looking at a screen of some sort, what I’m seeing is more ‘disconnection’ and as a result a great loss at so many social levels.  So much can be misconstrued by inappropriate abbreviation in texting and emails. Paper trails may be essential for many things but even over the phone, so much more of a connection can be made when you can ‘hear’ the feeling behind what is being said. And in person, that’s where relationships are at their best. Social media has its place. It is of immense value when selectively used.   When, that is and not stealing my most valuable asset of all..

Harbouring hurt hijacks..

There’s plenty I don’t understand. Maybe because I am a slow learner.  I learn by doing.  I watch, I take notes (mental or otherwise) and have to put something into practice, then I remember.  Our minds filter out what we don’t need, or what we do not want to remember and may sometimes blind us to what is obvious, which brings me on to the hidden signs of communication.  Sometimes we can be so strong in our belief about something, that perhaps something has a great value to someone else, or an organisation.   The truth is, it may well do yet we get so caught up in what we believe is right, we can lose perspective and  find it hard to know when to pull out or let something go and there’s a tendency to hold on to a little, teeny weeny bit of a resentment if things don’t go the way we feel they should. [quote align=”left” color=”#999999″]Harbouring hurt hijacks our ability to move on[/quote]
Just because we think something has merit and is of value, the time may not be right. We might lose sight of the bigger pictur and then take umbrage, carrying hurt and resentment which distracts us from re-channelling useful energy to something else, where the effort will reap dividends.  So on this bright blue Dublin spring morning, my promise to myself is to find just one ‘teeny weeny’ to let go of. Enjoy your day!




3 ways to save time every day

Three useful ways to improve your daily life !!!

Professional Self Smarter Tip

Only check your emails ….. first thing in the morning, at lunch-time and at the end of the day. Why only 3 times a day? If you’re distracted seeing what’s coming in, you lose sight of what’s really important

Unsubscribe from anything you don’t need now.  Be very selective.  It takes time to delete and scroll through stuff you’ll never go back to

Give yourself a break …  ignore or better still, don’t check emails after you finish working for the day. Knowing what’s come in and what you have facing you in the morning does not help you sleep any better ! Being always available is not good for you, not good for your clients, definitely not good for your personal life – and talking of your personal life, these little changes mean you can make more time for those who matter. When you’re with someone…… one to one…. really listen

1-2-1when you really listen… you’ll be amazed at the difference it will make….

Love your day, when it’s gone, it’s gone!


Time to re-assess?

Every now and then, I take a good hard look at what I’ve been doing, how productive I’ve been and most important of all, how satisfied I am with what I have spent my time on.

Too many things have happened in recent years in my little life and the clock’s ticking.  There’s only now and time spent is time gone.   So, if you feel like this goldfish (what a great image I saw on a card recently), then you owe it to yourself, to take time out and get re-focused. Get a grip on your life, do what you have to do to make each day matter more.  The clock’s ticking and good things beckon…

all a question of perspective

don’t copy, be inspired

there’s so much stuff that you can sign up to and learn from for FREE.  So much that we’re in danger of not being able to think for ourselves.  Does it matter if you take an idea from somewhere else? There are some bloggers out there who inspire and write for people to take the germ of an idea and run with it.  There are others who want to frighten the pants off you, so you don’t take a single word from what they say.  It all comes down to choice.  You can control what you think, what you write, what ultimately bothers you. Everything in life is kickstarted by something someone else has done, or something that already exists. It may be in nature, it may be something that is there but doesn’t provide the solution sought and so inspires a new product or service.  Does it matter?   Take the learning and do not copy or imitate.  Make something better and then be proud of your work. Even if it is simply being inspired to do something that already exists and making it far better, go for it. Just do the right thing and don’t forget to respect, really respect the work of others. Edward de Bono says that thinking is a skill that ought to be developed, so let your imagination be fired and challenge yourself through thinking. You’ll amaze yourself!

 janie-says be inspired by what strikes a chord, follow your intuition and always, do the right thing.

why what you do matters

One of the women on a recent workshop was recovering from a serious brain injury.  Everyone has their story and though we were not party to hers, by the end of the morning, this woman who I’ll call Sarah, I believe had found her purpose.  This was one of my ‘Communicate with Greater Confidence’ workshops geared to providing understanding of how we communicate with others, the learning process, understanding personality types, how to connect.  Sarah has a gift and I believe that morning, through speaking from the heart, she came to realise through her own learning of how to deal with brain trauma, she could help others through public speaking. Helping others to cope with brain trauma and not be afraid.  Every time I teach, I learn.   I love what I do.  In giving someone the confidence to stand up and speak out, to shine a light on their potential and light that spark, I get a huge buzz.  Sarah’s accident was no accident, I feel it happened for a reason, so that she may now really live.

when not enough is more …

At a service of thanksgiving for organ donors and recipients, I was reminded of how much I have.  A young mother whose son took his life stood before a large congregation, a family who seemed to have everything.  A family whose lives were unexpectedly changed forever. At a time when she was grieving the most, she gave the most precious gift of all, that of life to at least 8 people.  Leaving the Cathedral, you could see it was hard for people to know quite what to say as they passed ‘Donor Families’, identifiable by the camelia called ‘Donation’, each carried, given as a small token of recognition. An exchange of gentle smiles, no words needed. My strong sister is alive today because of such self-less generosity and for that I am forever grateful and value every moment that I can share with her, hard when we live on opposite sides of the world.  Technology is a poor substitute for human connection but it does help to bridge that gap.

It’s human nature to give out.  Take the top three complaints people have: lack of time, lack of money,  poor work/ life balance.  All of which we have the power to change, if we really wish.  And where circumstances do not permit significant change as quickly as we might  like, we can still affect the outcome of each and every situation through the way in which we communicate.  Through listening instead of simply hearing. Through helping others by freely sharing our knowledge. Being supportive through our own words and as importantly, being compassionate and non-judgemental, for what we see is not always the whole picture.  The mother whose child cried throughout the service probably had no-one to take the baby for her.  As an organ recipient, she needed to be there to give thanks too.

janie-saysThere’s a reason we have two ears, two eyes and one mouth…..


Men and Women !

Whilst giving a workshop recently about personality types and how best to communicate with people, I was asked about the fundamental difference between men and women, how we think and consequently act.  With so much written on the subject, who am I to comment, yet put on the spot the best explanation I could give is summed up by Rebecca West, well known novelist who said c. 1947 “Men see the world by moonlight which shows outlines of every object, but not the details”.  In contrast and at the risk of being accused of generalisation, women tend to get stuck in to the detail, the practicality of what needs to be done and in doing so, take on the supporting rather than leading role.  Therein lies a further question to ponder on, is this an automatic response from years of subconscious conditioning or personal choice?  

Comments welcome ……