enjoy the moment for what it is….. sometimes they are just meant to be
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Author Archives: janie
25 women, 21 countries
I recently read on-line about a recent Citizenship ceromony in New Zealand, where 25 women from 21 different countires were awarded their citizenship by NZ Governor-General Sir Jerry Mateparae. [quote align=”left” color=”#999999″]Before today, New Zealand was your home, but now it is your country[/quote]
This had me thinking about the question of belonging. Where we are from, where we live and where we feel our loyalties lie. And if, should the need ever arise, what lengths would we go to defend our country. I am an Irish Citizen. Whenever I travel, I take great pride in talking of the country that has been my home for some 20 years now. There are many other facets that form part of my identity. The issue of belonging raises the real question of who I really am and how different we all are…
[quote align=”left” color=”#999999″]There are no difficult people, just people who are different, with whom we have yet to learn how best to communicate[/quote]
Click to contact Janie for more on the 221:121 Workshops
Asset or Liability?
With family on the other side of the world, I often read their national newspapers on line just to see what’s going on. Quite often there are similarities in trends, research and events and it helps to get a different perspective on what are common human issues. Take for example, a recent survey carried out by Ernst & Young on Productivity in the Workplace. The New Zealand Herald reports (June 10th) that being treated badly in the workplace and poor communication were the biggest obstacles to increasing output. Whilst some time was spent on social media during work hours, waiting on other people and time spent on unecessary emailing accounted for an average of one hour and nine minutes time being wasted daily. What workers want it appears to be universal. Workers want more effective management, more motivation and more recognition. The question is if what workers want is seemingly so simple, why is it so difficult to get it right?
don’t copy, be inspired
there’s so much stuff that you can sign up to and learn from for FREE. So much that we’re in danger of not being able to think for ourselves. Does it matter if you take an idea from somewhere else? There are some bloggers out there who inspire and write for people to take the germ of an idea and run with it. There are others who want to frighten the pants off you, so you don’t take a single word from what they say. It all comes down to choice. You can control what you think, what you write, what ultimately bothers you. Everything in life is kickstarted by something someone else has done, or something that already exists. It may be in nature, it may be something that is there but doesn’t provide the solution sought and so inspires a new product or service. Does it matter? Take the learning and do not copy or imitate. Make something better and then be proud of your work. Even if it is simply being inspired to do something that already exists and making it far better, go for it. Just do the right thing and don’t forget to respect, really respect the work of others. Edward de Bono says that thinking is a skill that ought to be developed, so let your imagination be fired and challenge yourself through thinking. You’ll amaze yourself!
be inspired by what strikes a chord, follow your intuition and always, do the right thing.
why what you do matters
One of the women on a recent workshop was recovering from a serious brain injury. Everyone has their story and though we were not party to hers, by the end of the morning, this woman who I’ll call Sarah, I believe had found her purpose. This was one of my ‘Communicate with Greater Confidence’ workshops geared to providing understanding of how we communicate with others, the learning process, understanding personality types, how to connect. Sarah has a gift and I believe that morning, through speaking from the heart, she came to realise through her own learning of how to deal with brain trauma, she could help others through public speaking. Helping others to cope with brain trauma and not be afraid. Every time I teach, I learn. I love what I do. In giving someone the confidence to stand up and speak out, to shine a light on their potential and light that spark, I get a huge buzz. Sarah’s accident was no accident, I feel it happened for a reason, so that she may now really live.
where or what is home?
I’ve been thinking about this alot in recent years as my own circumstances have been changing. Is home where you’re from, where you’re living, where you have family, where you have friends. Perhaps the question is really what represents home to you? For me, it’s a feeling of belonging, where my friends are, somewhere when I wake up in the morning I instinctively feel I am happy and know that I don’t live any place else. Home though, is where I need to have a base. Somewhere I can always return to. A place where everything is familiar, in its place. Where I have a few things around me that remind me of my journey through life. Of the people who have been part that journey, people who have made a difference to my life and who matter. People who matter still, even if they are no longer around me. It’s not about things, status, being seen in certain places. It is that sense of place. Of community. A sense of belonging. Of peace. Home is where I am happy to be and where people who spend time with me, are happy to be there too.
all it takes is a little minute…
Funny isn’t it. All it takes is a minute to make a difference to someone’s day. For that matter, for someone else to make our day too. To go out of our way, to do something however small for someone else, with no expectation of getting something in return. Yet, the majority of the time, our heads are too busy thinking about our own issues and the day is gone, often worrying about something that really doesn’t matter at all. My quest for today and every day, is to consciously do something that does matter… not being a ‘goody two-shoes’. Just being human.
when not enough is more …
At a service of thanksgiving for organ donors and recipients, I was reminded of how much I have. A young mother whose son took his life stood before a large congregation, a family who seemed to have everything. A family whose lives were unexpectedly changed forever. At a time when she was grieving the most, she gave the most precious gift of all, that of life to at least 8 people. Leaving the Cathedral, you could see it was hard for people to know quite what to say as they passed ‘Donor Families’, identifiable by the camelia called ‘Donation’, each carried, given as a small token of recognition. An exchange of gentle smiles, no words needed. My strong sister is alive today because of such self-less generosity and for that I am forever grateful and value every moment that I can share with her, hard when we live on opposite sides of the world. Technology is a poor substitute for human connection but it does help to bridge that gap.
It’s human nature to give out. Take the top three complaints people have: lack of time, lack of money, poor work/ life balance. All of which we have the power to change, if we really wish. And where circumstances do not permit significant change as quickly as we might like, we can still affect the outcome of each and every situation through the way in which we communicate. Through listening instead of simply hearing. Through helping others by freely sharing our knowledge. Being supportive through our own words and as importantly, being compassionate and non-judgemental, for what we see is not always the whole picture. The mother whose child cried throughout the service probably had no-one to take the baby for her. As an organ recipient, she needed to be there to give thanks too.
There’s a reason we have two ears, two eyes and one mouth…..
why don’t I take my own advice?
the other day I was using a friends’ amazing computer and it made me realize how I’ve been putting off the inevitable….. buying the best I can that suits my needs. Right now. All the time, I’m saying to my clients, buy the best you can afford, dress in a style that suits you, invest in good quality clothes that make you feel comfortable and good. The same with books, with training, with the quality of food you eat. Use the best accountant, marketing consultant, web designer.. you get the picture. Fast-tracking personally and professionally makes sense, so why don’t we do it more?
every single day, every hour, every minute, we have the power to make better choices. To do the best we can, with what we have available (or can get legally and ethically!). And to do what we’ve promised to do, even after the desire to do so has long gone. That’s commitment. Talking to a friend on Skype in Sydney yesterday, reminded me of the tremendous power that choice gives and the endless possibilities when we share our knowledge, without looking for something in return.
As for that new computer, sorted.yes. this very morning. I deserve the best and so do you.
Make the most of the day, while you have the power to choose!
learn by looking … closely
Want to really Speak with Confidence?
One way to quickly improve your speaking skills is by listening and watching yourself and others. Go on to U-tube and you’ll find some amazing tutorials. You’ll find people who are at the top of their game and their advice is invaluable. Go one step better and start videoing yourself, learn to let your personal, conversational style of presenting, of talking to camera develop. Only by seeing yourself on camera will you really understanding how to improve. Share the videos with an honest colleague or friend, learn to take advice from others and watch yourself improve. If you’re serious about developing your personal Conversational Style, then click read more and to check out our workshops. If the notion of developing your public speaking and leadership skills on a regular basis appeals to you, then consider organisations like Toastmasters where you can learn in a supportive environment. Contrary to popular belief, Toastmasters gives you far more than public speaking skills. Visit a local club or two and see for yourself.