Tag Archives: confidence

Emotions Shape Us –

Human Emotions shape us. They shape us professionally and personally. They also have a stronger influence on our overall performance and satisfaction with life than we care to realize.

In talking with participants of a Much More Than Words workshop we ran back in the Autumn, I was reminded of how strongly I too felt when working overseas about ‘not being who I thought I was’. What I mean by that is that in another country and not being as able to express myself as well as I might in my own language, I somehow felt ‘less’ and undoubtdly lost out, as did the company in different ways.  psst

It was if I had lost part of my identity because I had mentally defined myself by what I did, rather than who I was. I felt as if someone was going to tap me on the shoulder and whisper ‘Psst… what are you doing here’ and that I was an imposter somehow because by the time I opened my mouth to say something, to contribute in team meetings, all too often the conversations moved on before I had a chance.The problem was not that I lacked the ability to speak in French,  but I lacked the confidence to just say what I meant and not worry about speaking perfectly.  I believe it was this lack of confidence in my early working life that led to emotions getting the better of me and working in the world of advertising, I needed to brave up fast, which I did but paid the price, a story or two for another day.

Lack of Confidence can mean missing out 

But I learnt plenty from those early years.  That our experiences and emotions do indeed shape us and as my career progressed, I had a responsibility to those who worked in my teams to make sure how I handled situations didn’t have a detrimental impact like some of my earlier experiences had on me. Whether you are working and speaking in your own language or another, self confidence is key to performance.

January 2017 Event Logo

The first Dublin breakfast event for 2017 – Contact Janie on 087 8572005 or click on image to book your place.

Had I been a stronger, more resilient person and not so self conscious perhaps my ‘strangeness’, my identity as the girl from London could have been used to my advantage, as ‘a wild card’ and I would have played it stronger. But my emotions won and got the better of me.

In the workplace, how we see ourselves and others see us impact hugely on our ability to perform.  How we are treated by our peers and those who lead the organisations we find ourselves in impact in ways previously considered less important perhaps than they are today.

The Organisation as an ‘Emotional Arena’

Dr. Annette Clancy from the Quinn School of Business in UCD  will be sharing invaluable insights on the 18th January, at the first of our Breakfast Events for 2017 to be held at the Bank of Ireland Enterprise Centre, Montrose, Dublin.  If you’re involved in HR or a leadership role and can make it, I feel sure this will be time well spent. If you’d like to know more, you can call me directly on 086 8572005.

simply click here to book your place. 

Places limited. Booking advisable.

 

When words don’t come fast enough

Years ago when I was a fairly competent French speaker living and working in Paris, I loved the life I had. The only thing was that no matter how well I spoke the language, I often found that conversation progressed so fast that by the time I’d begun to speak, the moment was lost.  You may have experienced this too. Frustrated and disappointed often, I eventually lost confidence in my ability to contribute as effectively as I wanted to. I feel my employers lost out, I did and probably my clients at the time too – I hasten to add there were no complaints !!

CATCH 22

I didn’t want to draw attention to the fact I needed help. My employers assumed that everything was ok because once I was ensconced I managed to get my work done efficiently. No-one asked or guessed anything was wrong at all. I never voiced my concerns. But with the benefit of hindsight, what a lost opportunity for both parties.  I never realized my potential within the organisation and my value to the company was not maximized.  Had I received more than basic induction training, which really revolved around product only I probably would have still been living in France.  Ah. C’est la vie…

Training needs are hopefully better identified these days, but I’m not entirely convinced. Technology is making so many every day tasks faster and in many instances being automated, thereby reducing the need or opportunity for human intervention. And yes, never has the need for human connection been greater. 

IS THERE SOMETHING MORE ABOUT THE 80/20 RULE WE SHOULD BE LOOKING AT?

If more than 80% of our satisfaction in life comes from our relationships with others, the need to connect and communicate effectively and especially in a business environment  appropriately, boosting core communication skills and language competency where it is most needed has to be an integral part of a continual program of professional development.

I’ve been that executive working overseas, involved in client meetings, team meetings, training sessions. More recently, in Italy where people have been amazingly receptive to any efforts I make, once the conversation gets going, that sinking feeling returns as I cannot keep up enough to join in the conversation and I can feel my stress levels rising as I struggle to make sure I’ve understood the salient points of a meeting.

Emotions play havoc with our minds.  This we know. What we don’t fully appreciate is quite how this triggers unhelpful patterns of behavior, what employers can do to help and how we can help ourselves more.

It’s not rocket science and particularly as in Ireland the workplace is becoming more culturally diverse, we need to be more aware that many international employees are often doing jobs because of their native language and sometimes multilingual abilities  which is great for the clients they service. It may leave a gap where their Confidence and Competence (two words which in themselves can sound remarkably similar when mispronounced by a non native English Speaker!) in using English effectively may be slowing down the rate at which they integrate and contribute within their teams and the company overall. The greater the levels of engagement, the greater the performance.

Many people I work with whose first language is English lack confidence, fear public speaking and hate making presentations so it is easy to understand the difficulties facing non native English Speakers. I know. I’ve been there. And yes, lack of confidence, disappointment can play havoc with one’s emotions !

Much More Than Words specializes in working with International Executives boosting language competency through the provision of Professional and Personal Development.

‘the organisation as an emotional arena’  

18 January 2017 –  7.45 – 9.30 am

Be part of this conversation with Dr. Annette Clancy, Assistant Professor of Organisational Behaviour at UCD College of Business as she shares invaluable insights at our first Breakfast Meeting of 2017 for HR Specialists.

 MUCH MORE THAN WORDS

proud to be hosted by the Bank of Ireland

at the new Enterprise Lounge at UCD, Montrose

Contact Janie: 086 857 2005 

booking advisable

Retrospect, Introspect and Perspective

Whilst there’s a lot of good talk these days about self reflection and evaluation, I can’t help but wonder if we were to get to know ourselves better and sought to understand what makes other people tick, life could and would be so much easier. With the benefit of R.I.P., this is my ‘take’ on Retrospect, Introspect and Perspective, a vital stage I believe in letting go and moving on to make sense of what should be a simple process!

Of course it can be hard work.  Good things take time and great things even longer. One of my sisters says I think too much and perhaps she is right.  Personally, I see it not so much as ‘thinking’, more a case of ‘processing’. Never reflecting denies me the opportunity to do things better. I’ve learnt to love having the opportunity to look at things from a different perspective, to try to understand how things look from someone else’s standpoint – especially if there’s been an unresolved issue and let’s be honest here, we all have a few of those.  When I look at what’s happened, how I handled something, I wouldn’t say I am brooding or being over analytical, just as objective as I can be about what actually happened. IMG_0355According to Myers-Briggs, I am an ENFP, at this stage of my life I am it seems, falling true to type, that is to say enjoying more time to myself, quiet time. So is this being introspective?  If I can do this effectively, I’d say it is more about being able to competently and more confidently share experiences, my experience with the benefit of hindsight, perspective and the benefit of learning.
As with all forms of personality profiling, if we were to ‘boost’our social/interpersonal skills, be more curious about other people rather than chasing the clock, giving a focus on what really matters, then perhaps, just perhaps, we’d all have a better perspective on life.

But there again,I guess  it depends on what you expect to see at the end of your rainbow!

to find out more about yourself, google away…  here’s one I found

https://www.16personalities.com/enfp-personality

 

On the Soapbox

If Speaking in Public causes you stress…

You’re not alone. More than half the population seem to be terrified at the very thought of being asked to present or speak in public. In fact, many have said they would rather ‘die’ !! Yes, figure that one out for common sense…. You may be surprised to know many of the world’s greatest speeches have been made by introverts, people who choose to Janie Lazar - Coderdojothon 2016manage their stress and present with excitement rather than fear. The good news is you can learn to do the same and begin to enjoy speaking and presenting, both with ease and confidence. Boosting your communication skills and public speaking really can be something to look forward to as you develop your skills to present effectively and connect with real confidence.  

In fact, for Non Native English Speaking Professionals,  spend 5th November 2016 with us for an intensive workshop and you’ll be well on the way to mastering those nerves. You’ll learn essential skills you can use in any language.

Click to contact me directly for One to One Coaching 1-2-1 

     

the Chinese word ‘wei-chi’ has two meanings: ‘danger’ and ‘opportunity’.  It all depends on how you see it.  So when you change your perspective and see speaking in public as an opportunity, we can work to turn that fear into excitement.

mailto:janie@janielazar.com

Stand up and Speak Out !

‘Preparing to Present’

 

Mini-Workshop: For Professionals whose First Language is Not English.

This practical workshop will build on your Language and Communication skills to improve your ability to present.

Designed for employees, business owners and job seekers to provide a practical and supportive environment to help you hone your Communication and Presentation Skills.

 Date: Saturday 5th November 2016

Time: 10.15-15.30
Venue: Enterprise Lounge,Bank of Ireland, Grafton Street, D2
Cost: €65 per participant
For maximum results numbers are strictly limited.

Today I met a Firefighter

At full tide down at the 40′, you never know who you’ll get into conversation with.  I’m there, we’re chatting about the pull of the tide and the next thing, whilst we’re maintaining strict eye level contact as we discreetly peel off our wet togs and get dressed, I’m chatting to one of the nicest guys I’ve met for a long time.  Stephen O’Reilly.  Firefighter.  Instantly I like him.  Firefighters have to be good people and you know instantly when you meet someone if this is someone you want to chat with, or politely disengage!   The 40′ attracts a very correct crowd of people, in case you are wondering.

A Quick Dip in the Irish Sea by Heather McKay

A Quick Dip in the Irish Sea by Heather McKay

Now don’t misunderstand me, this post is not about attraction in that sense of the word, it’s about social dynamics.  Stephen is so enthusiastic about what he does in addition to his job as a firefighter, I find the more he talks, the more I want to hear. Anyhow, the conversation flows easily and he asks what I do, WORDS,  I say, well it’s much more than words – it’s about how we use them. It’s about who you are. Now we’re flying and I get to find out so much more about what drives Stephen and now I understand why he drives across the city to dive into the sea and make the most of one of our most wonderful natural resources.   Check out grown.ie. It’s a cool company, who stand by their ethics. I love the clarity of their brand ‘messaging’ and yes, Stephen is a great brand ambassador. The point of all this?  Life is one big conversation and I just love it.

 

 

‘Good, Bad, Bif, Gone’.

Something I’m reminded of every day and how we tend to make judgements based on our own preferences.  And when we have to adjust our ways of doing something, it’s extraordinary the different emotions this can bring up!  One of the fears most people have is around rejection in some shape or form.  It can stop us progressing an idea, or doing something as basic as making a phone call.  But what lies behind this fear? That’s when what I call a little bit of ‘self dialogue‘ comes into play.  A little conversation with myself to see what’s really going on with this thought process and for which, once I’ve rationalized some usually daft notion, it’s a question of ‘Good, Bad, Bif, Gone’.  Not always an easy process but one which helps me listen to my gut feelings and may well be useful for you too.  Let me explain my perhaps crazy process.  The Good/Bad is the question to myself, does thinking or spending any time at all on whatever the issue good or bad for me.  BIF, a great sounding little word with strong emotion, meaning for me ‘ Chuck it out’, if worrying or even a little moment thinking about something is not going to be in any way productive, get rid of it.  Gone marks the end of it.   Out my head, leaving space for other great thoughts to come to fruition. So that’s it. Thought for the day used for something very specific this morning. ‘Good.Bad.BIF and most definitely GONE’ !  May your day go brilliantly 🙂

English not your first language?

Make no mistake, the reality of the workplace today is that international employees are expected to be able to contribute effectively to their teams and within the organisation FAST. Usually within a very short time of starting in their new job or if they have been there a while and have been promoted, of taking up a new role.  Their company expects them to be able to communicate competently and confidently with colleagues and clients.

Employees who do are in many cases quickly recognised, rewarded and often promoted.  Those who simply keep their heads down and work hard are often overlooked, their abilities under-estimated and their contribution under-valued and their potential also overlooked.

The very fact that they are employed in many instances because of their native language abilities and may be talking for most of the day in their own language, or languages other than English sometimes, just sometimes is easily forgotten.

And yet, English is the most used language of international business and frequently the common language amongst a multi-cultural workforce.

What’s my point here?

The point is that no matter how well you may understand English, be able to work in English, the more confident a communicator you are, the more you will gain out of your life professionally and personally.

The more proficient you become, the sooner you can integrate more fully, engage with your colleagues and within your community and contribute more effectively.

This makes for a happier and satisfying life for you too, as well as for your company and the company’s customers too. For business owners, the same applies : happier clients and happier staff.

Effective communicators save time and confident communicators connect more easily, whether it is on a one to one basis or many.

Why is this so important?

Clear communication means more effective collaboration.  Better collaboration means things get done faster, usually better with less mistakes or misunderstandings. Which means the bottom line for a company, their profit margins are higher !!

But it’s not as easy as it sounds, is it?  When you’re a non-native English speaker just finding your feet in a new country, in a new environment, everything can be difficult and extremely challenging. We know this and it is why I began to think how to help and with Andrea Goldman, we’ve developed the Much More Than Words integrated approach to language learning which also tackles the issue of confident communication in the workplace. What it does for professionals is to:

  • Improve your command of English, to help you know how to use the language appropriately and effectively.
  • To understand how to communicate your message, spoken or written in the way in which it can produce the best outcome.
  • And develop your own personal style, which we call your own ‘conversational style’, so that you can talk naturally, feel comfortable and present with confidence.

    If you’re in HR, I’d love to have your feedback

There is a full Professional Development Program available and it starts with the Essential Core of Communication.  No matter how much technology advances… we all love to talk and be heard..  Feedback and all views welcome 🙂

Where are you from?

FIJI

Inspired by Women in Business in Fiji – where the idea for ‘Much More Than Words’ came to me !

An interesting question.  I always say ‘Dublin’ of course.  I’ve lived here for over 20 years now, first visiting some 30+ years ago.  I am immensely proud to say I am an Irish citizen and I come from Dublin.  And yet, I am a London girl at heart.  London is truly my city too as it is where I spent almost half of my life before settling in Ireland .  But hold on, I was born in Wales – but left there when I was one… and I have strong family ties in New Zealand and have been lucky enough to travel extensively and have felt welcome and a strong feeling of belonging in the most unexpected places. So I ask the question again, where are you from? Do tell, I’d love to know….

The start is just the beginning it seems.

Being a ‘Plus’1

Being a ‘Plus 1’ unexpectedly can go either way and last night I had the pleasure of being at a company gathering in Dublin.  Aside from the extremely high level of thoughtfulness that had gone into ensuring guests were looked after, what struck me the most was how ‘in sync‘ the team were.  For the first time in ages, I experienced the great feeling of a company culture, that was exciting, a company ethos that didn’t need words, you felt the loyalty.  Each and every person I encountered showed a genuine interest in getting to know you and just as remarkable in the true sense of that word, was the feeling of PRIDE in being part of the company at a pivotal time in the company’s re-structuring.  A sense of quiet confidence which comes from excellent product quality and leadership with vision and a real desire to do what’s right for the future of its employees, just ‘doing’the right thing.’  My faith in good business practice thankfully was given a big reminder there are still great companies out there 🙂