Category Archives: Uncategorized

Asset or Liability?

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With family on the other side of the world, I often read their national newspapers on line just to see what’s going on.  Quite often there are similarities in trends, research and events and it helps to get a different perspective on what are common human issues.  Take for example, a recent survey carried out by Ernst & Young on Productivity in the Workplace.  The New Zealand Herald reports (June 10th) that being treated badly in the workplace and poor communication were the biggest obstacles to increasing output.  Whilst some time was spent on social media during work hours, waiting on other people and time spent on unecessary emailing accounted for an average of one hour and nine minutes time being wasted daily. What workers want it appears to be universal.  Workers want more effective management, more motivation and more recognition.  The question is if what workers want is seemingly so simple, why is it so difficult to get it right?

don’t copy, be inspired

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there’s so much stuff that you can sign up to and learn from for FREE.  So much that we’re in danger of not being able to think for ourselves.  Does it matter if you take an idea from somewhere else? There are some bloggers out there who inspire and write for people to take the germ of an idea and run with it.  There are others who want to frighten the pants off you, so you don’t take a single word from what they say.  It all comes down to choice.  You can control what you think, what you write, what ultimately bothers you. Everything in life is kickstarted by something someone else has done, or something that already exists. It may be in nature, it may be something that is there but doesn’t provide the solution sought and so inspires a new product or service.  Does it matter?   Take the learning and do not copy or imitate.  Make something better and then be proud of your work. Even if it is simply being inspired to do something that already exists and making it far better, go for it. Just do the right thing and don’t forget to respect, really respect the work of others. Edward de Bono says that thinking is a skill that ought to be developed, so let your imagination be fired and challenge yourself through thinking. You’ll amaze yourself!

 janie-says be inspired by what strikes a chord, follow your intuition and always, do the right thing.

when not enough is more …

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At a service of thanksgiving for organ donors and recipients, I was reminded of how much I have.  A young mother whose son took his life stood before a large congregation, a family who seemed to have everything.  A family whose lives were unexpectedly changed forever. At a time when she was grieving the most, she gave the most precious gift of all, that of life to at least 8 people.  Leaving the Cathedral, you could see it was hard for people to know quite what to say as they passed ‘Donor Families’, identifiable by the camelia called ‘Donation’, each carried, given as a small token of recognition. An exchange of gentle smiles, no words needed. My strong sister is alive today because of such self-less generosity and for that I am forever grateful and value every moment that I can share with her, hard when we live on opposite sides of the world.  Technology is a poor substitute for human connection but it does help to bridge that gap.

It’s human nature to give out.  Take the top three complaints people have: lack of time, lack of money,  poor work/ life balance.  All of which we have the power to change, if we really wish.  And where circumstances do not permit significant change as quickly as we might  like, we can still affect the outcome of each and every situation through the way in which we communicate.  Through listening instead of simply hearing. Through helping others by freely sharing our knowledge. Being supportive through our own words and as importantly, being compassionate and non-judgemental, for what we see is not always the whole picture.  The mother whose child cried throughout the service probably had no-one to take the baby for her.  As an organ recipient, she needed to be there to give thanks too.

janie-saysThere’s a reason we have two ears, two eyes and one mouth…..

 

learn by looking … closely

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Want to really Speak with Confidence?

One way to quickly improve your speaking skills is by listening and watching yourself and others.  Go on to U-tube and you’ll find some amazing tutorials.  You’ll find people who are at the top of their game and their advice is invaluable.  Go one step better and start videoing yourself, learn to let your personal, conversational style of presenting, of talking to camera develop.  Only by seeing yourself on camera will you really understanding how to improve.  Share the videos with an honest colleague or friend, learn to take advice from others and watch yourself improve.  If you’re serious about developing your personal Conversational Style, then click read more and to check out our workshops.  If the notion of developing your public speaking and leadership skills on a regular basis appeals to you, then consider organisations like Toastmasters where you can learn in a supportive environment.  Contrary to popular belief, Toastmasters gives you far more than public speaking skills.  Visit a local club or two and see for yourself. 

 

Introverts make great Speakers too

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If you thought only extroverts make great Speakers, think again.  Introverts make great speakers because they master the skill of speaking in public and know how to capture the attention of their audience. Check out Susan Cain on TED Talks and you’ll see what I mean. TED TALKS are a great way to learn how to hone your speaking skills, as well as filling those moments when the person you’re waiting for is running late!

Described as a quiet revolutionary, Susan Cain’s book  ‘The Power of Introverts’  will change your perception of Extraverts/Intraverts.   Well written, well researched.  Well worth buying and taking the time to read. Just listening to her talk, you’ll see how captivating a well structured and prepared a well researched speech can be, especially when the subject is something the writer feels so close to.  Listen to her talk by clicking on the link below.

http://www.ted.com/speakers/susan_cain.html

http://www.ted.com/

janie-saysthink of giving a speech as a conversation……talking is performing and you can do it too…

 

Developing your own Conversational Style

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Going weak at the knees….

Fear dominated my early life. As a child, I was terrified. Terrified of lots of things.  Some silly.  Some not so stupid.  One very real fear was of being asked to say a prayer at a seder supper as I  unlike my cousins, I didn’t speak hebrew. In school, I knew I wasn’t the brightest and avoided any possibility of being picked out for anything at all and so the habit of being fearful continued through most of my adult life of choosing to play second fiddle, never wanting to be in the spotlight.  I felt I wasn’t intelligent enough, certainly not funny enough and I believed that no-one would find what I had to say of interest anyway.  The very notion of  exposing myself to possible ridicule filled me with horror on a regular basis. Fear you’ll have gathered is something I really understand.

If the thought of speaking in public terrifies you and your knees turn jelly, it is in your power to change how you feel. There are some easily learnt techniques that can help you speak in public, with confidence and take the stress out of those business situations where you know you’ve simply got to deliver.  Developing your own style is one of the most important steps to presenting well and to think of your style as a type of conversation can help.  Once you’ve done so, then it’s a case of modifying your CONVERSATIONAL STYLE to suit the situation.  Easier said than done, right?  Take the first step and think of how you talk to different members of your family.  Talking with a brother or sister, for example, will probably be more informal than perhaps talking to an Aunt or Uncle.  In business, it’s much the same.  There will be people with whom you adopt a less familiar or formal tone.  We’re all human and the more you can learn to relax and communicate with ease, the greater, more varied and most important of all, the more personalised your ‘conversational style’ will become. Wobbly knees will be a distant memory and all you’ll feel is the excitement and pleasure of speaking with confidence.

janie-says Confident Communicators have the ability to Inspire and Motivate

‘Darling, nobody knows’

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Put on the Spot !

When I was out the other night, I was asked to comment on a particular situation.  Afterwards, I was complimented on how calm I seemed, especially as this was a topic that I was unfamiliar with and held little interest for me!  My first instinct was not to comment, make an excuse and quickly avoid the issue altogether.  Whenever I find myself in such situations, I remember the words of a very confident friend who helped me greatly in my early years and can still hear her voice today. When I said how nervous I felt if asked my opinion,  that my knees would shake and my mouth would go dry, she replied in her deep, husky voice  ‘but darling, darling, nobody knows.  Nobody but you can ever know how very fearful you are’.  Having a background in opera and drama, she knew only too well how fear can take over and would prime herself every single time she went on stage.  Now I’m not proposing you put on an award winning performance every time you get an attack of nerves.  What I am saying is that PRACTICE MAKES BETTER ! The more you associate speaking well with a good feeling, the better it gets and you can fool your sub-conscious mind into helping you achieve a greater level of satisfaction and success each and every time you speak.  Give the illusion of ‘Nerves of Steel’ and relegate ‘Legs like Jelly’ to history with a few easily learned techniques from a ‘Self Smarter’ workshop.

janie-saysYou need the adrenalin of nerves to keep you on top of your performance.  When feeling anxious,   remember the words of my friend….. ‘Darling, darling, nobody knows. Just take a deep breath and go for it !

 

Men and Women !

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Whilst giving a workshop recently about personality types and how best to communicate with people, I was asked about the fundamental difference between men and women, how we think and consequently act.  With so much written on the subject, who am I to comment, yet put on the spot the best explanation I could give is summed up by Rebecca West, well known novelist who said c. 1947 “Men see the world by moonlight which shows outlines of every object, but not the details”.  In contrast and at the risk of being accused of generalisation, women tend to get stuck in to the detail, the practicality of what needs to be done and in doing so, take on the supporting rather than leading role.  Therein lies a further question to ponder on, is this an automatic response from years of subconscious conditioning or personal choice?  

Comments welcome ……

The Power of Fear

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Fear can paralyse and yet simultaneously  excite us. Just why do we fear so many different things that in the majority of instances NEVER come to pass. Susan Jeffers said “Feel the Fear and do it anyway”, the poet Rainer Maria Rilke said “Follow your Fear”. Still we hesitate and rather than risk failure or the experience of learning  that the opportunity of failure provides, we hold back. Is it fear of having too much and perhaps at some level not feeling worthy of success?

The following was written by MARIANNE WILLIAMSON (though  often attributed to  Nelson Mandela). “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.  Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?”. Actually, who are you not to be?”.   Marianne  continues “… playing small does not serve the world.  There’s nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you”.  Then says “.. as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same”.

Self doubt and procrastination stop us achieving our potential.  In taking control, we become more powerful and as we do, we can inspire others in using the positive power of fear to its best advantage. To enhance your communication skills, contact by clicking here

 

Salt, Oil & Sea Air

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Reading a recipe the other day reminded me of the skills we use in effective delivery of a speech.  The Salt standing for the bite-sized nuggets of information we want to impart and people to remember. The Oil is the flow of your speech, which relies on good planning and structure. Finally the Sea Air.  Walking by the sea gives me inspiration, clears the head and provides the perfect place for practice.  Practice makes  better.  The more you prepare, the more you practice, the better your speech will be.  Outside of coaching for a specific purpose, an excellent, cost effective way to improve your speaking skills is to join your local Toastmasters Group, where you can improve your communication skills at your own pace in an informal, friendly and supportive environment.

janie-saysMake the most of your day and remember Practice makes  better!